Of AGH!

It's another slow blog day.

So, since I'm searching for Internet Memes and I doubt you know what they are, I'll share an obscure one with you

An Internet Meme is anything that's spread so much and gains popularity overnight that people use it as a reference or some obscure joke or make modified versions of it. LOLCats and Chuck Norris Facts are two such internet memes. Heck, even Rick Rolling is one of them. And I won't spoil the fun if you don't know what Rick Rolling is.

Other than that, here's an awesome video by some Black Metal Band. Just the intro is worth making you laugh.

Of . . . Something. . . I dunno?

Slow Blog Day.
The Comics didn't make me LOL
The blogs i read/stalk don't have any new posts.
The iftar party (and it wasn't a party) I went to was boring.

Bleh.

Read older posts and comment. Plzktnx! =^.^=

Of Aunties, Uncles and Cell Phones

Okay. Honestly raise your hand if you're stuck with a crappy cellphone.

On second thought, since I can't see your hands, quit being silly and lower them.

Do you know what the recent thing is that boils my blood? People owning things that are way beyond their technical know-how.

This is particularly true about cellular phones.

Wealthy old aunties and uncles will be seen in possession of a cell that costs 50K or so. I mean the latest model of the best company, which can turn into a surveillance helicopter, a directional mic, can take super-detailed pictures where you can count the number of blackheads on the subjects nose.

Yet, here's the kicker, they only know how to dial a person's number, read a message and receive a call. That's about it. In some cases (like one of my friends' aunt) the person doesn't even know how to read a message or dial a number, someone just taught them the speed-dial sequence to call home, husband, and driver.

WHAT THE HELL. I'd kill for a super cool phone. Why does a twit who does nothing but take self portraits, sms, and call, get a phone with a built in OCR that can convert snapshots of business cards into contacts. I'm sick of trying sort out my business cards and keeping them in boxes. Or an uncle who can only press the green call accept button and the red call reject button get a state-of-the-art smartphone?

You know there should be a small Q/A session before the shop sells someone a cell. You could get a friend and read it out loud.

Mediocre Uncle Scenario

Shop Keeper: Hello! Are you here to buy a cellphone?
Customer: Yes, I am!
Shop Keeper: So, what is your price range?
Customer: Around 20,000.
Shop Keeper: d00d! that's quite a bit. What do you need a cellphone for?
Customer: Oh the usual. Calling, setting an alarm, forwarding cheap jokes to people I barely know.
Shop Keeper: In that case, you can buy one of our "Works-But-That's-About-It" Phones. Only or 18,999/-

Self Obsessed Teeny Bopper Scenario.

Shop Keeper: Hell...
Customer: Listen, like I don't have time so like quickly give me one of the Super-Duper-Phones like 10 seconds ago.
Shop Keeper: Little girl, do you have the money to pay for it?
Customer: Like, who do you think I am? My daddy gave me, like, his credit card and told me to, like, buy a new cell.
Shop Keeper: Okay, our Super-Duper-Phones have a 25 MP camera with 16x Optical Zoom, IR and UV modes and has a built-in OCR. What are you going to use it for?
Customer: Taking, like, my pictures in front of, like, the mirror in my bathroom, totally obviously.
Shop Keeper: Errr... Okay, it's even got the brand new EDGE 2 for internet connectivity, what are you going to use that for?
Customer: Like totally checking my Facebook obviously. Wait, can I, like, update my emo blog on it too?
Shop Keeper: Ummmm, yes you can. Final question. Why do you need a new phone
Customer: See, like last week Saniya's daddy got her a totally new phone and she's been showing it off like it's her own, and it's like totally pissing me off!
Shop Keeper: Oh-kay. I'm sorry, but you qualify for a Oh-God-Brat's-Self-Obsessed. It comes in black and red. Credit Card Please!

Illiterate Mela Scenario

(You need to pronounce each word like it's written)

Shop Keeper: Hello Customer. How may I help you?
Customer: Hallu! Aye am heer to buy ay nu cell foon
Shop Keeper: What are you looking for in your new cell phone.
Customer: Farstly it's foon not phon. Maind eet. Aye wantz a foon that take my many peekchurs and aye can zoom in on tha chikni larki akross lectur hall.
Shop Keeper: Okay, a camera, and?
Customer: Dant yew bees smarty with me. Aye am thinkingz. Eet Shoud also be havingz big speekeers. So aye can be playing cheep sangs for chikni larki.
Shop Keeper: Speaker.... and?
Customer: Bola na tereko. Maind eet. Eet Shoud also bees shainy. You know sparkle sparkle?
Shop Keeper: Okay, That's it?
Customer: Yas. That bees eet.
Shop Keeper: Here you go sir. Your "I'm a maila londa" phone. You may think it looks like the cheapest phone available with a fake camera spray painted silver and dipped in glitter, but that's just your imagination.

Old Socialite Aunty Scenario

Shop Keeper: Hello Customer. How may I help you?
Customer: Beta, my kids told me key "Mummy you should buy a cellphone. It's the in thing" Show me a model that I can show off to my friends at parties. One of those "Super-Dooper-Diamond-Studded" phones look nice
Shop Keeper: Can you take pictures?
Customer: Aab iss umer mein tasveerin ley ker kiya ker na
Shop Keeper: Do you need to check your email?
Customer: Female? yes yes beta, Mein Female hi hoon.
Shop Keeper: -_-; Do you know how to SMS?
Customer: yeh EssEmmEss kiya hota hai beta
Shop Keeper: Can you call?
Customer: Haan! Beti ney sikhaya tha, show me that phone?
Shop Keeper: Here... why?
Customer: Beti ney bola tha, pehley red button press kero, phir 1 press kero beti ko call kerney key leay, phir green button press kero aur kaan se laga lo. Arrey, woh toou toou nehi baj raha.
Shop Keeper: Here, give me that. You qualify for our "Can-Barely-Use-The-Damn-Thing" line of phones. Thank You for shopping.

There you go. With such protocols in check, everyone will have a phone they deserve.

On a slightly unrelated note, my uncle just got a state of the art Alienware M17, for Accountancy Work. WTH Man?

Edit: In case you don't know, an Alienware M17 is a high end gaming laptop. Superfast, awesome display, humongous hard drive capacity. And it's being used to run MS Excel and MS Word

Of Dreams Dreamt at Forum

Okay, so last night I was totally zoned out.

You know how there are those stupid kids who have to do something stupid? Like go the opposite way blind-folded in one-way traffic.

So, the Forum has two escalators, for the super lazy. One goes up and the other comes down. What is it about moving stairs and people's thirst to go the opposite way. Is it like some sort of extreme treadmill? What we saw at the Forum:

Why do people always climb a descending escalator? Well, the idiot did, and when he reached (2) he stumbled (Hey I was younger than him when I climbed the PIA one without stumbling), and his siblings who were so tiny that their heads barely came above the hand-rail followed him. His Dad (I assume it was Dad and not some random stranger) told him to get off. Poor kid, he was nearly at the top too.

What I wanted to see the kid do:

It would have been so cool if something like this happened. Instant movie making opportunity. Sadly no one does these types of things anymore.

Oh and on a side note, Some "AMIT" guy decided that he'll advertise his website on my blog. Idiot. I am desperate for comments. But not THAT desperate.

Of More Reading Material

Let me introduce you to Kasana-San's blog.

It's surprisingly fun to read. I say surprisingly, because I've known about the blog's existence for nearly a year now, and I just started reading it.

Hey, it's not my fault. Or Hers. Her blog was sandwiched between:
- A girl who takes pictures of weird ass stuff and looks up some random word in a thesaurus and captions said picture with said word. I mean, how can a pile of cards strewn across the floor be labeled as "obnoxious"
- Another girl who whines about her ex day in and day out.

Oh and all the other blogs shared one thing in common. They were black. Now, unless you write something totally eye catching I'm so not going to read it. I stay away from black. Period. Black is the sign of something dark depressing and emo.

So anyways, check out the blog. You won't find copy-pasted lyrics of songs, or sad emo bitching. You will enjoy reading it. This sucks as a sales pitch. GO. READ. NOW.

And you know something is worth reading if it's in my Blog Roll Thingy.

Of Interesting Things at The Forum

The Forum.
A place where noisy little girls congregate and well, make noise.
A place where groups of guys and girls come and pair off and feed each other Ice Cream lovingly.
A place where we walk and discuss worldly issues like Famine, Peace, Technophobic Aunties with Expensive Cell Phones. . . did I mention World Peace?

Okay, I've had a super long day, and I forgot what I was building this up to. I'm DEAD! And apparently super-tactless. Gomen Ma'am.

Here's a banner we saw displayed outside Radio City. That's their Ramzan Special! :D

Also, since I'm kinda out of Ideas to write about.... how about giving me some. Leave them in the comments section, please and thanks.

Oh and 4 hour blackouts followed by 1 1/2 hour internet outage... Not Fun.

A new Image.

I just woke up with the realisation that I'm not doing anything productive.

I went to sleep after having sehri and watching Evil Cricket Baba a few times.

So, naturally now I've got this ambition where I want a little more muscle mass on me.

If you don't get it. I'll describe it in a pictorial format (Actually I just made the picture because I was bored.)

Sigh, Now I go drop my sister off at her shitty school.

Of "Yatta! Chance!"

So, it's common knowledge that I passed in my exams with nigh average grades. These grades as some people put it, could have been achieved by a "blind monkey writing with his tail" (their exact words)

Well excuse me. Firstly I was born in the year of the dragon and under the star of the lion. I am anything but a monkey. Secondly, my eyesight is a little weak, but I can totally manage to notice things your 20/20 vision fails to spot. Thirdly, unlike the blind monkey who passed on his baap ka paisa I worked my ass off in an institution that overworks it's employees and underpays them. I worked to pay for my own education.

I wish I could say all of that to you face to face. Then probably kick you in the shins, and run away. Problem is, if i did such a thing, not only would a huge family scandal arise with the whole khandaan ka mu kala and nani acting the drama queen.

Anyways. Not the point of this post. Well, I've been fretting about getting into a Uni, and reading this article just made my day.

Dawn News: Zero Students Passed from 45 institutions in Karachi.

Do you know what this means? If the result for FSC is that bad, me with my crappy grades still have a chance of getting somewhere.

So, this might just be awesome news. Party at my place (if there's no drama going on at the time) when I get admission.

Of a Refreshing Nap

I just woke up from my nap on the tiled floor of our lounge.

Let's recount how I got there.

~~~~

It's hot outside.

I just came home from dropping sister of at her oh-so-super-elite-yet-shitty-school Nixor.

I am sick and tired of dropping her off in a cab and walking all the way back home. I could easily take a rick for a round trip in the same amount of cash.

Anyways, today was hot. And fasting meant severe dehydration by the time I got home. Top it with there being no electricity and I was screwed. Exhausted to tears, I turned to my only companion in these situations.

Meet Cocoa Beans, my advisor. I asked her what to do. After staring at me blankly for a minute, she yawned and started licking her fur.
"So I should take a shower" I mused. And I took one.

Thanks to the heat, the water was hot. "Now what to do?" I asked Cocoa. By now, she'd finished cleaning herself up and as if to answer my question, she went to the lounge and lied down. I followed suit, and I talked about various things with her... and dozed off.

My Cat's smart.

Of The Robotic One

Behold! The Most Awesomest Movie yet to be released.

A little about the clip before you click through.

If you just ate, wait for the food to settle down.

Now, this clip falls in the same category as the Machine Girl and Shyness Machine Girl. Other than that, the Tengu are a class of Japanese Demons with big noses.

I love the part at 1:29.

Oh and if the soundtrack sounds familiar, its cause it's a remixed version of Live or Let Die by Guns N' Roses.