Of Promoting Pronouns and Prepositions

Is it just me or people who excessively use pronouns and prepositions are actually irritating.

I mean, suppose you are asked by someone to do them a favor. Now, if they used nouns like a normal person it would be a piece of cake to understand them. Instead this is what they actually say:

Okay, so you, yes you. I need a favor from you. Firstly put that there. then you see that? Yes, the one behind that. Bring it over here, and go to the desk and you see that stack, yes, next to it, get those things and make copies... NOT THOSE! The other one next to those.

And during the entire exercise you're pointing like an idiot. Point. Point. Point. Point. Point. Point.

At least throw in a few adjectives or something to help me. It's like talking to a baby who has the cognitive ability but can only make one sound and rather than pointing at what it wants it generally waves in the direction of the object thus covering 20 other things at various distances.

My superior at City was like that. "Get that book" He would say, sitting on his apple shaped butt-cushion behind his desk and pointing at a shelf situated across the room.

Sadly, my dad and my sister are the same. Okay, so I know that at times you fail to remember the name of a certain thing, and that it's called a mental block. But still. If you can't remember the name, describe it. Colour, size, shape, location.

Dad's one step ahead of the pack. When he doesn't remember the word hammer (the object, not the action) he'll use one of those really random words from some language you had no idea your parents knew of. It'll go something like this

Son, go upstairs, and from the XXXXXX (toolbox) get me the big XXXXXX (hammer)

Replace the XXXXXX with a typical punjabi/sindhi/balochi/persian word for toolbox and one for hammer. And all you can manage to do is go W.T.F? and he thinks you are an idiot for not understanding such a simple thing.

Of 62 Years of Steady Decline.

Pakistan's 62nd Birthday started off with a BANG!

followed by a tak-tak-tak-tak-tak-tak-tak-tak-tak-tak-tak-tak

then a fwoooooosshhhhhhh-BOOM!

then a wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-tharrrrrrrrrrrtharrrrr

______________________________

Yeah we celebrate our independence by doing the same things that keep happening in our city on a regular basis.

Karachi is dangerous. All year round bombs explode at various places. If the terrorists (I call them the Karachi Excitement Squad) don't have a bomb, they'll call in a bomb scare. Your politically attuned (or not) thugs need a reason to fire their guns. Hell, even when someone's being wedded, people fire guns either to display joy, or resentment (watch old punjabi movies)

And firecrackers are a nuisance. Most of the firecrackers that exploded last night, I could only hear them, no colored lights blanketing the sky or anything like that (I didn't really bother going on my roof and checking it out since the bullets that these idiots previously fired in the air were now bouncing off my roof.) Honestly, what do these people think? Do they think that the laws of physics don't apply? If you fire a bullet it'll go out in space and never come back? That it'll probably hit any aliens trying to invade Pakistan and they end up crashing in America (Since that's what usually happens in movies - click here to find out what would happen if Aliens landed in Pakistan)

Today, people celebrated the independence in a very interesting way. You could see little kids playing cricket on the streets like any other day, except they were holding the Pakistani Flag, which was thrown down as soon as someone made a run. The huge ass flag that the neighbors had put in the spirit of patriotism a week ago, was now covered in pigeon poop and torn from different places (most likely by birds trying to renovate their nests.)

We don't bother with celebrating Independence Day. Because, if we did, we can be sure that the Karachi Excitement Squad would have planned something wonderful for us. How the hell can we be proud Pakistanis? We have been deemed not only a terrorist nation but even a failure as a nation itself. That is because when we do get a leader worthy of leading mindless idiots like us, we first remove everything he possesses that makes him different from the idiots he replaced, and when he finally does that, we realize the mistake we made and try to cover our asses by rioting and asking for a new leader.

We may call ourselves independent, but are we truly free? The Government banned Star Plus and there was an outright riot amongst the cable viewing population some time ago. Not to mention that at weddings I never knew it was a Muslim tradition to break open a coconut at the doorway, or to kick a cup of rice while entering the doorway, yet people do it.

And, I may be cynical, and I may point out the negative. But at least I'm not blind and clinging to false hope. So if you are going to tell me that my views on this entire matter suck, please shove it.

Of a Hilarious Java Game

Dad got a new cell phone. Well, new as in we've never seen it before. But it has been put through its paces.

So as the resident techno-nut, I had to figure everything out and explain all the useful features to dad.

While I was going through the applications page, I came across one measly game called "Forgotten Kingdom." Being perpetually bored as I am, I decided to play it for a bit.

Just the intro alone floored me with a sudden fit of ROTFLOLing.

See, this is what the intro was, in all it's awesome 16-bit soundtrack

A knight (he had a sword and a cape) meets a princess (she had a conical pink hat with streamers flowing down it.) They come closer. They are speechless (speech bubble with ". . ." in it.) They fall in love (big red heart between the two.) He moves a centimeter away from her and goes to sleep (I measured.) two bad guys come and whisk her away.

I say: HE DESERVES TO BE ALONE.

Who the hell falls in love and IMMEDIATELY goes to sleep (apart from a girl I once dated - that's a different story though)

Oh, and I realised that the word verification was on. I turned it off. Yay for people who comment.

Of Free Space

I just cleaned out my hard drive. And after a lengthy to keep or not to keep session, I have freed up 7.6 GB of space. So, now I need ideas or torrent links as what to watch. Anime prefered.

Please and Thanks.

Of How To Have Your Day Perfectly Ruined

. . . Thanks to your family.

I slept at 4:30 AM. I was up reading The Sighs of Suzumiya Haruhi again.

I was woken up at 7:30 by mum reminding me to drop off my sister at her school by 11:30

I was woken up at 9:00 by the maid on my nani's orders. Apparently she thought 11:30 meant 9:30.

I went at 11:30 in a bloody hot taxi to drop my sister off, since her royal highness is too important to be seen in a rickshaw (I prefer them for their awesome air-conditioning and cheapness)

I walked back home all 2.5 Km because I missed the bus, which I wouldn't have if I had reached there sooner, which would have been possible if her royal majesty did not run back to her room 3 times to get a pen, set her hair, get her purse.

I come back to find that one of the three people I truly hate was visiting nani. I'm a very calm person normally. Even when my friends are being super-petty and bitchy I can take that in stride. But this woman, I feel like bashing her face in a wall every time I see her.

That explains why she was so keen on shoving me out of the house.

So. I'm really really pissed at the moment.

Oh and, since the A-Level result is out. To all those idiots who got the same/or lower grades as/than me even though they went to the best tutors and the best schools... SUCK THAT BITCH! Holier-Than-Thou Attitude ki aisi ki taisi.

Enjoy.

Of An Iron-Fisted Hold On The Young Consumer

Believe me when I say this. Cartoon Network is controlled by EVIL corporations!

It's a well known fact that a child's mind is quite easy to mould. You take him to do community service, and make him look at the less-fortunate smile with joy he will most likely turn up to be a social worker. You hammer into his head that all business men are dolts who can't even spell the word business, come hell or high water he will be anything other than a filthy rich business man. Even if you lock him and his brother up in one of those big ass freight containers and fill the place with ankle deep blood, he will grow up to be a psychotic emotionless serial killer who loves the sight and smell of blood. Notice that the pronoun used for child is a male one, that's because young boys are much more gullible than young girls - at least that's what I see around me.

So, what does this thing have anything to do with Cartoon Network, which shows only wholesome family entertainment (Spongebob displays questionable sexuality of the titular character hence it's not aired) that can do no harm?

Wrong! It's that kind of thinking that will harm you. Generally speaking, go to any bookshop or gift store and you'll see merchandise corresponding to the latest cartoons being aired on Cartoon Network.

It's okay as long as you get:

• a Pokemon water bottle. (Which breaks open like a bad egg after falling down for the 10th time - bye bye Pikachu)
  
• or a Ben 10 lunch box. (Which loses all it's Ben 10-ness after it's sticker peels off or the printing flakes off in a month and becomes an ordinary lunch box that you could have gotten for half the price)
• or even a Dragon Ball Z backpack. (it's rollers don't roll, the strap's broken, and Goku's turned black because his skin peeled off)
• or even one of those spirit-infused-top-spinny. . . BeyBlade pencil boxes (which will suffer a similar fate as the items above)
  

I mean, kids are kids. Savage, uncouth and need to be given indestructible things, like those rulers that would bend completely. (Still some manage to break them in two...)

Books are one nuisance. As it is textbooks are getting increasingly expensive. Then that Art-Attack copy M.A.D. decided to publish 14 page "books" for their viewer. They teach you how to colour, how to shade, how to make origami. Since they're M.A.D.'s books, they reserve a right to charge extra. The same, often better books teaching all of this, with either a lesser value or greater volume of content are left aside because they aren't M.A.D.

Next come the trading card games. Ever since I was 14, I've seen the Pokemon Mania grasp the kids of our city maybe even our nation. You buy starter sets, booster packs, and special edition tin cases to keep them in. Meanwhile the company churns out newer editions called Geo, Heehoo, Jiyo, Leo, Meow, Neo, Peyo, Rio etc. In essence it's the same god-damn monster, in one edition it is yellow and useless, then it changes a bit and shoots lightning in the next, then it shoots lightning and fireballs in the next, then it's colour changes to pink and it throws flowers instead in the latest edition. In other nations TCG have tournaments where prizes are awarded. Over here, I've yet to see anyone play with their Pokemon deck. Not just Pokemon, there are other TCGs like Duel Masters, Yu-Gi-Oh, Digimon waghaira. All promoting one thing, Mindless Consumerism

Lets come to toys. BeyBlade is a cartoon where people battle each other using spinning tops. Kids want BeyBlade tops, with gears and a "bit beast" (Some kind of magical creature that comes out and fights the other top's magical creature - all powered by the owner's determination.) that'll cost the parents 300-500 rupees each. And it's not even the build it yourself kit. Kids want some sort of arena to battle their spinning tops in, Battle Arena costs twice as much and it's just a flimsy haandi that your local samosey wala uses only smaller. And it'll break because honestly, plastic and concrete don't go well together. Buy one more "Battle Top" and get bored because it doesn't follow your thoughts like it's supposed to.

Similarly, a while back there was this show called Blazing Teens. Basically a live action show about a bunch of teenagers battling against another bunch of teenagers by winning contests showing off their yo-yo-ing skills. Some of the tricks were either professional level or defied the laws of physics. Still, their yo-yos and gears and were classified as automatic or manual. How can a yo-yo be automatic? And these things cost nearly as much as the tops i mentioned above. Add the fact that each character had his or her own personalised one, and the kid's forced to collect his favorite character's model and that of his rival (or love interest!) Parents buy the cheap Chinese knock-off version, but it doesn't do the tricks like in the TV so they buy the "original" one. This also doesn't do tricks because it's "manual," whereas the character uses an "automatic" one. What are the chances that the automatic one won't do the same tricks.

To buy this merchandise, the parent suffers. If the parent agrees, the abuse the toy takes (even though it is equal to the one in the cartoon) breaks it, and parent buys a new one. If the parent refuses, the kid's subjected to peer pressure and he either snaps and steals money, or steals his classmate's toy or destroys his classmate's toy.

Now, like most people, I wouldn't really have a problem with Cartoon Network advertising total crap and milking people's money.

Yet it's sad to see that all these kids learn from Dragon Ball Z is how to beat each other. Why don't you use the yo-yos you bought to solve disputes. Imagine, they grow up and form gangs. One fine day, two rival gangs (probably one's member flirted with the other gang's member's sister. Chase scene ensues, where they're running down roads and alleys, yelling "aabey saaley, rukk!!" and finally they catch up. They menacingly advance towards each other and instead of using tubelights, hockey sticks and bats, they battle to see who keeps their yo-yo spinning the longest.

Imagine two students who get into an argument and instead of violence or destruction of property, they take out their Pokemon Zeyo deck and have an invigorating showdown where they sit like human beings (and don't throw cards hoping their enemy will die of paper-cuts) and come to a conclusion through skill and luck.

Imagine that instead of beating each other using poorly executed moves they learned from Dragon Ball Z, they follow the show's main theme of friendship and get along with each other, which would be only possible if the merchandise didn't show Goku or the other characters so angry and radiating with power all the time. Maybe a backpack with Goku (hero) having tea with Frieza (super-evil-villan) or Goku tending to his garden with Majin Buu (another evil guy)

Imagine if 10 years ago, someone had given George W. Bush a yo-yo, made him sit and watch poorly dubbed Rising Teens. It's possible the war on terror would be fought by competing in yo-yo tournaments, with Osama Bin Laden broadcasting a live video feed on his yo-yo-ing skills from somewhere in the Afghani Mountains. But, if one thinks about it the video feed would be so horrible that you wouldn't be able to tell if the yo-yo is spinning or not. So then, Osama will pull out his deck of Pokemon Cards and say, "Mr. Bush, I hope you have the latest expansion pack with you"

Point is, Cartoon Network airs something, it becomes popular. It's not there to provide us with entertainment, but advertising. Nickelodeon falls behind because it's got a handful of shows that actually have merchandise available locally. Thank God.

So Down with Evil Corporations and Give Us Good Clean Animated Fun.
(No repeats of Tom and Jerry, we've seen them all at least 8 times already)

Of Mugetsu

I took pictures of the Dragon. The thing's freaking HUGE! It's nearly 3 feet tall, so all my backdrops are useless, and paper-boards are a foot shorter. The person who designed the stand is an idiot. How the hell can you support it's awesome head on a measly 6 inch base?

Anyways, after falling down a hundred times thanks to the warm breeze, here's what I managed to pull off. Mind you, the pictures aren't my best work. But... they should do.

The bottle weighing down the entire thing is really really important for anyone who's trying to make this. It's Colour Chem's chemash pasting glue. If you've got access to something like Scotch's Tacky Glue well and good. Else, this is the best option I came across.

Closeup of the head in full awesomeness is here.

Instructions, and tips available on request.

(Edit: 9:32 PM) Oh Frigging Hell! I forgot to add the spines down it's back. Damnit. I'll do that later.

Of Something I Have To Know!

I HAVE TO KNOW!! HOW THE HELL DO YOU EAT THIS?

Do you lick the top and then go down to the crust?

Do you bite the pointy end and suck out the filling?

Do you realise that you're paying for twice the amount of pizza you're getting?

On a different unrelated note, I finally managed to use up 1% of my Picassa Web Album Storage Space. WooHoo!!!

Of Too Many Different Things To Put Under One Title

Lets start this post with a bang. I passed!! Woohoo!
Hopefully I'm out of that sordid rut that I've been wallowing in for the last four years.

Next up. I finished my Dragon-Chan. I call him Mugetsu (lit: Moonless /No-Moon)
Don't ask why I chose that name.

Pictures will be up tomorrow, since I need sunlight glinting off it's many surfaces to get a decent one.

Other than that, I am really tired atm, so I'll go to sleep.

Of a New Series

Yesterday's trippy post was of xxxHolic.

For years I thought that it was some sort of hentai, so I stayed away from it. The a friend of mine introduced me to Suga Shikao, the guy who did the opening for xxxHolic. It's basically an awesome catchy song, about how this guy hates being 19. The video is a totally different story. The 19 year old psycho rapes his neighbour, takes photos while doing so, and then they meet in the elevator. . .

Yeah.

So, my boredom finally caught up to me and I decided to download the series. I am in love with the character design. It's so clean and sparkly. And, it's not hentai.

xxxHolic, is about various forms of addictions and stuff, hence the xxx is a place holder. It deals with supernatural stuff mostly. The male lead can see ghosts and though they have yet to seriously harm him, they do make his life miserable. He somehow lands in this shop where a witch grants your wishes for a price. In order to pay for his wish, he ends up working there. Thus he experiences a whole new world of the supernatural.

If you are an ani-taku like me, do give it a try. It's not heavy on action though, so be warned.

P.S.

ENDLESS EIGHT IS FINALLY OVER!!!!