Everyone tells Jokes. Funny stuff needs to be shared. I am for the funneh.
However. I hate it when people laugh at their own jokes.
Case in point
Idiot says: Dude! do you know what PIA stands for? Huh huh huh do you?
Me: Errrr ... Pakistan International Airlines?
Idiot: Pfft! That's the actual name. It should stand for "Please, Inform Allah" AHahahahahahaha LOL
Me: . . . dumbass.
There should be a rule. People who tell jokes shouldn't be allowed to laugh at them, unless the listeners laugh first.
How many times have I come across stupid stuff like "so, like i was walking my dog down the road and this annoying guy was staring at me and i flipped him off LOL!"
(On a totally unrelated note, LOL happens to be a french film too... what are the odds)
Let me rephrase the initial statement. I don't want anyone to LOL after saying something. It's just pathetic and makes you sound desperate, kinda like the guy who wants to high-five everytime he makes an innuendo.
There's this idiot I knew long ago who LOLs about pretty much everything. Either the following lines are actually funny and I am too dull to notice, or she really needs to get off the dope.
(While answering a simple Hi, How're you)
Hi XYZ! lol
I have been good lol.
I'm just getting used to this again, lol.
You get the picture..
So, people. Whether it's a joke, or an insult. Do refrain from going LOL. A smirk is enough. If people want to find it funny, they will laugh. You just irritate me with your laughter for no apparent reason.
(Edit: 1/10/09 07:55) Also as Shinigami-Kun pointed out, LOL followed by LMAO or any other form of expressing laughter makes me want to blast your face off!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Of Eid
Belated Eid Mubarak to you all.
If you know me, I really do wish you all Eid Mubarak, since it's the only time of the year when poor unemployed people like us get any money (not counting the 200 bucks a month "pocket money")
Okay, that aside. Eid was horrible. Apart from the cheapskate relatives who won't cough up dough (yes, when it comes to Eid I am as greedy as a 10 year old... moving along) and the ones who cast you dirty looks because they don't approve your existence for a number of reasons, I really don't get why people focus on food.
Pakistanis have nothing better to do than eat. We call Americans fat, since they - well - are! But we obsess over food like anything. Whenever someone comes over to visit, we feed them. Lavish 72 dish courses with so many intermingled aromas that you're confused if you're looking at 72 different dishes or someone took those 72 dishes, dumped them into one cauldron, gave a quick whisk and plated them in 72 plates/bowls. Hey, if I ever find myself in a similar situation, and I absolutely have to feed guests, I'd go grab a few snack-packs of biscuits and give them cold water to down them.
I'm sick. I was horribly sick on Eid day, and my parents feel the need to keep appearances. That means, that I have to tag along to Aunty Farkhunda's house sit in a corner with a pale face ready to fall asleep. I don't get labelled "Biohazard - Keep Clear" because I'm sick. Instead I am "Attitude Bunny - Ill Mannered Asshole"
Then comes the food. "Beta, why don't you eat?"
I have the flu. My throat's practically closed up with mucus. I have trouble breathing, let alone talking. Yet people don't get it. Have a spicy kebab. How about a glass of ice cold Pepsi.
Dare refuse them 15 times consecutively and the entire family, from 2 year old Tipu to 80 year old, one legged Nana Jan, start chanting: "EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT!"
They have home base advantage in that situation.
When they're visiting, and we have home base advantage, it's still the same. However this time around they guilt you into eating.
"Look at him, he's not eating. We feel bad stuffing ourselves while he sits there eating. What happened beta, mommy starving you to death? Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat."
or
"Why isn't he eating? Did you poison the cake? Did he poison the cake? (laughs) Eat beta, Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat."
CUT ME A BREAK!
(sadly in my current state it would be more like: "cu..*cough* t..me *cough* *cough* *hack* *wheeze* a.....*)
If you know me, I really do wish you all Eid Mubarak, since it's the only time of the year when poor unemployed people like us get any money (not counting the 200 bucks a month "pocket money")
Okay, that aside. Eid was horrible. Apart from the cheapskate relatives who won't cough up dough (yes, when it comes to Eid I am as greedy as a 10 year old... moving along) and the ones who cast you dirty looks because they don't approve your existence for a number of reasons, I really don't get why people focus on food.
Pakistanis have nothing better to do than eat. We call Americans fat, since they - well - are! But we obsess over food like anything. Whenever someone comes over to visit, we feed them. Lavish 72 dish courses with so many intermingled aromas that you're confused if you're looking at 72 different dishes or someone took those 72 dishes, dumped them into one cauldron, gave a quick whisk and plated them in 72 plates/bowls. Hey, if I ever find myself in a similar situation, and I absolutely have to feed guests, I'd go grab a few snack-packs of biscuits and give them cold water to down them.
I'm sick. I was horribly sick on Eid day, and my parents feel the need to keep appearances. That means, that I have to tag along to Aunty Farkhunda's house sit in a corner with a pale face ready to fall asleep. I don't get labelled "Biohazard - Keep Clear" because I'm sick. Instead I am "Attitude Bunny - Ill Mannered Asshole"
Then comes the food. "Beta, why don't you eat?"
I have the flu. My throat's practically closed up with mucus. I have trouble breathing, let alone talking. Yet people don't get it. Have a spicy kebab. How about a glass of ice cold Pepsi.
Dare refuse them 15 times consecutively and the entire family, from 2 year old Tipu to 80 year old, one legged Nana Jan, start chanting: "EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT!"
They have home base advantage in that situation.
When they're visiting, and we have home base advantage, it's still the same. However this time around they guilt you into eating.
"Look at him, he's not eating. We feel bad stuffing ourselves while he sits there eating. What happened beta, mommy starving you to death? Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat."
or
"Why isn't he eating? Did you poison the cake? Did he poison the cake? (laughs) Eat beta, Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat. Eat."
CUT ME A BREAK!
(sadly in my current state it would be more like: "cu..*cough* t..me *cough* *cough* *hack* *wheeze* a.....*)
Monday, September 28, 2009
Of *Yawn*
I've been sick the last two weeks.
Between the flu and sore throat, I didn't feel like doing much. Neither do I feel like doing much at the moment. Suffice to say, I'm alive.
Between the flu and sore throat, I didn't feel like doing much. Neither do I feel like doing much at the moment. Suffice to say, I'm alive.
Subscribe to:
Posts
(
Atom
)