Apparently people are tired of living real life. Real life has no appeal it seems.
This would explain why there is such a huge demand for “Reality TV.”
Who in hell comes up with the concept of Reality TV Shows anyways? I mean, how many times (in real life) do you see a group of 16 strangers stuck on an island, with each one being systematically eliminated by a group of primates until one is left and that one gets a million bananas.
Honestly, the hype that these shows create really doesn't make sense. Take the Amazing Race for example. If, and this is a hypothetical if, I was to go to Japan for an all expenses paid trip, I’d rather be doing something easy like sight-seeing rather than climbing the exterior of Tokyo Tower to retrieve a clue hidden in a pigeon nest at the top. I mean come-on, if you’re going to an exotic country, go as a tourist, not a fugitive – always running from one point to the next yelling and screaming at your partner, running after people, running from people.
I was channel surfing a while back, which is rare given that I don’t really like watching TV. I landed on AXN, after enduring clips of clichéd “Bold and Beautiful” and a weird music video of an equally weird Sindhi song. CSI was on. Or it was on had I been a little quick with my surfing. Sadly the adverts had started.
- On the next season of TOP CHEF! Watch as 12 different contestants battle it out blah blah blah blah we think if we keep yelling out the details you’ll actually want to watch the show. Look we even threw an Indian chick and made this show about spicy food. This is different from last season since now we have two Indian chicks. Do watch the show! Please!
- On the next episode of Beauty and The Geek! Watch as how we go to the extreme and take the hottest chicks and make them date the ugliest guys around. You know this will never happen in reality so it’s going to be fun to watch. This week we’ll focus on developing convolutedly fake emotions between Hot-chick-with-a-huge-rack-that’s-draining-her-brain-of-much-needed-blood and Social-outcast-who-loves-penguins-to-the-point-of-obsession. Oh The Drama
- Next Week on So You Think You Can Dance? Watch how limber couples dance in ways you can only imagine. Watch how one nutcase nearly breaks his neck during a break-dance routine. Look at this crying couple, did they lose or win? You won’t believe this but the asshole-British judge just gave a heart-felt compliment. Did he really mean it or was it sarcasm. Find out Next Week.
- Coming up Tonight! Rachel Zoe Project. Watch how a skeletal corpse with more botox in her face than actual fat launches her line of creepy clothes with the help of incompetent help. We shall even throw in some dirty talk and innuendos that you can only dream to find in The Apprentice! We have no idea why anyone would even bother watching her show? Okay, lets show the clip with the metrosexual help crying once again.
- On the next episode of Australia’s Next Top Model, the girls who have no marketable skills save their looks will battle each other in a pool filled with mud. Actually, it’s all for a “photo-shoot” for a high-profile client. *cough*playboy*cough* Witness how this show is remarkably similar to America’s Next Top Model, we just got a cast with a funny accent, some super-famous designers from Australia (who are actually struggling designers in America – but you shouldn’t be aware of that.) And finally to give you that feeling of being in Australia, we’ll give out shit prizes to our winner. So, to distract you from mulling over the similarities, we’ll show you a clip of this girl crying her eyes out (the surprise here is that she wasn’t eliminated, but rather someone else was, for whom she had no particularly strong feelings)
There must have been other advertisements, but I must have tuned them out. Anyways, when they ended, I found out that CSI was over too. I used to really like CSI at one point. Keeping aside CSI:LV’s Gil Grissom and his epic deductions or CSI:M’s Horatio Caine and his infamous one-liners, CSI makes forensics fun! I am pretty sure the only reason anyone watched the bullet analysis parts was because of the catchy instrumental tune. It’s like asking KISS to sing a nursery rhyme to a bunch of orphans.
I dare you to imagine our desi Richie Rich (you know, whose dad owns this country) being asked by daddy dearest to go work in each province to prove his worth to the country. GeoTV follows him to Punjab, where he mucks around in knee deep rice paddies; Sindh, where he helps his wadera brothers with poultry rearing and Pajero maintenance; N.W.F.P. where he becomes the trainer and obstacle course for the Taliban forces while harvesting opium on the side and Balochistan, where he. . . relaxes?
So yeah. Reality Does Suck. Imagine the next Pakistani Reality Show: A Simple Rickshaw!
