Of The Weird Stuff You Find In Cars

How many of you have a habit of keeping some weird thing in the back of your car? I mean anything, from overstuffed Tweetys to this:

Yes. Your eyes do not deceive you! It is a Furry Baby with pink eyes. How creepy can you get? a Pink-Eyed Demon Baby. This is Nightmare Material. And not one Demon Baby, but two. And a furry dog! Honestly, you people should reconsider what you put in the back of your car. Creepy things just scare the crap out of passer-bys. Unless of course, it was to wink.

Of New Innovations

You know what we need? A Chinese Dhaba. I mean if one guy was to to open one ANYWHERE in Karachi, they'd make a killing.

You are probably going to ask me why would we need a Chinese Dhaba. Well the answer is so obvious that it screams in your face. "Chinese food for the Average Person!!!"

How many of you like Chinese food? I do, and looking at the statistics, there are more Chinese Restaurants in America, then all of McDonalds, Burger King and KFC's outlets combined (which so does not concern us).

Anyways, I like most of you people am not made out of money, so I need Chinese Food in a budget. So I demand that the Dhaba that just closed down in my neighbourhood be converted into a Chinese Dhaba!

Of Conspiracies and Manholes

Finally. After hours of shifting into negative space courtesy of Shift. I finally started thinking of everything as a conspiracy, then I went out for a walk.

For some strange reason, I'm exceptionally observant when I walk. Must have been the vitamins I was force-fed as a child.

Anyhoo. I saw the Cantonment Board Clifton's latest trap for unsuspecting pedestrians.

For your convenience, I even added a hand-drawn comic to aid you in understanding the way the trap works

Stage One: The Trap!












On your right, you see the actual trap. On the left is a comic depicting Rasheed. A typical maila, who is busy staring at a hot girl (not shown in the comic)

Rasheed is walking unaware that the CBC Trap is about to spring on him. Its a pity he doesn't know, that his made up hair and maila style are about to be ruined for good.

Not to mention that his reputation among his friends and the girls would be altered forever!


Stage Two: The Trap is Sprung!












As soon as Rasheed steps on the man hole, the pressure sensitive lid tips, and he starts to fall.

A look of shock plasters itself on his face. He's on a one way road to the sewers now. The hot girl turns to look at him, a smile slowly developing on her face.

On the right is a trap that was partially sprung. The victim must have been nimble, or a pathan-ninja hybrid (super-strength + agility)


Stage Three: The Trap has Trapped a Victim!











And finally, Rasheed drops from the surface like a stone in a sewer. He desperately tries to grab at the walls, but they are slippery from the constant over-flows that the trap faces. No one knows what happened to him after that day. No one. He may have become one of the sewer people, or was rescued by the CBC, brainwashed and made into an employee in the Keep Clifton Green Campaign. We shall never know.

The hot girl smiles, and thinks "Thank you CBC, for getting rid of another maila for women-kind everywhere"

On the right is a sprung trap. The palm leaf you see was most likely the last ditch attempt made by the victim to save himself. Pity it didn't work

"Once it goes below ground, its lost forever!"
"Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers"

Of Nausea and Satisfaction

Once again, in the middle of the night I come to you with a game that will blow your mind away

Presenting: SHIFT

Shift is a series of games that uses the concept of negative space and your ability to access it, which makes it the coolest puzzle game so far. In a nutshell, this is what you will be doing

The game's been designed by a sadist, and he's going to make you cry. You'll spend a decent amount of your time pressing the [SHIFT] key, and an equally decent amount of time dying. You will hate this game, but you'll keep on playing it. Because its such good fun. I spent the last hour playing Shift and its two sequels.

And now, I've reached a point that whenever I press [SHIFT] I expect the screen to rotate and invert it's colour scheme..... and I'm not even playing the game at the moment.

Man, you need to play it to understand all this pointless mumbling.

Shift 1 Shift 2 Shift 3

Remember. It WILL mess with your head. Or will it?

Hmmmmm

(Between you and me. I'm delirious!)

Of Tubby Ninjas and Comic Humor

I am sure, everyone's gonna agree that Ninjas are cool.

(Those of you who dont... pretend you do)

Okay, so I am suffering from a fever, which has calmed down to a tepid 38'C (roughly 100'F) And its nearly 5 AM. Till a while back I was talking to my friend, who thankfully felt like being an insomniac for once. And I made her play "Bowja the Ninja"

This has to be one fun (yet sadly very short) game I have ever come across. The Ninja is cute as hell, has an endless supply of arrows - that for some strange reason don't kill your enemies but rather *bonk* them on the head.


Each scenario has a fun way of solving it, and sometimes you get a cool action sequence as a reward. Some of the solutions are going to make you wonder whether the developer was on drugs when he came up with them.

If you want comic humour this is definitely a game you won't want to miss.

I challenge you, try and solve the entire thing without resorting to walkthroughs. For some strange reason, knocking a really fat man off the top of a building is extremely satisfying.




Enjoy, and spread the word: "Tubby Ninjas are the best."

(Both images are linked to their respective games.)

Of Hot Bodies and Hotter Heads

I HAVE A FEVER!

102'F.

Have you noticed how people always quote their body temperature in Fahrenheit to make it sound cooler. I mean can you imagine telling another human being that your body temperature is 39 Celsius?

Me: Yo Dude! I've got a bitchin' fever!
Dude: Yeah? What's the Temperature?
Me: 39! DUDEEEE its 39'C!!
Dude: Errrrr
*Dude now wonders to himself whether he should be concerned or not.. cause 39'C is not as shocking as 102'F*

And now, I quote Aisha
"Shockerzzzz"

Of Grapes that Taste Like Wine.

So, my friend read the Emo post, and maybe that had an effect on her. Because 5 minutes later she was going on about she had vine grapes, and how they were so delicious... and how the grapes tasted like wine. Another universal truth, we have stumbled upon.



Sometimes she says the weirdest things. YAY!

Of Ferocious Pets

I GOT A WOLF AS A PET!!! YAY!

Now be nice to him. Okay?

Of Emo people.

I have no beef against Emo people.

See, there is a limit to being Emo. (Isn't Emo a genre of music?) I admit, I have nothing better to do then spend time looking at blogs of people I know, or people who have mutual people in common with me. Point is, there is seriously something wrong with the kids born in the years after mine. The younger crowd has gone really really pathetic. Possibly they've been following instructional videos on How to be Emo.

Take for example, Random Guy on my MSN.
So this guy is perfectly normal, though he has an obsession with taking pictures of himself with eyeliner on, and then turning them into black and white pieces of "questionable" art. Sure, occasionally he'll wear a studded wristband which looks like it used to be the collar of a very mean (and very skinny) dog... possibly named Spike. Now this guy has been sporting this quote on his MSN for the last week.

"I wanna slit your throat and fuck the wound.
I wanna push my face in and feel the swoon..."

So, I asked him why he kept it as his nick, because, every time he'd sign in I'd feel nauseous and my neck would slightly itch. His reply? "My girlfriend likes it. Hence I put it up." Man that girl is seriously messed up. And so is the guy. What girl would want her throat slit and the have the guy (who just slit her throat) have sex with her throat?? (I know that they are lyrics to Slipknot's "Disasterpiece" - Google FTW!!)

Similarly, I was trolling around Blogger and I came across a blog (whose link I'd love to give you, but I can't due to some reasons). The blog had emo/goth written all over it. And you guys know how emo people can go all deep and shit on you? Well this person had a post with just one line written in it:

"A happy person is an unhappy person having fun."

Man, that is so deep. Like totally. I mean, look at it. An unhappy person starts having fun, and *poof* turns into a happy person. WOW! Coincidentally, I was talking to a friend, and she had a blast with this line. I mean, look at what you are writing. Does it even make sense? What if you are at a celebration and someone asks you to introduce yourself. You in your eye-lined eyes, stare down at the room and go "My name is not important. I look happy.... but I am an unhappy person.... having fun.... bring me my razor"

Man I wish I could come up with deep and thought-provoking stuff like this guy...

(Hope you liked the instructional video)

New Blog Header!

YAY! I made a new blog header today. It took me ages, (well 15 minutes) and I Google-ed all my images, but it was worth it. I always felt that my blog needed a more serious header. So, I worked hard and made this amazingly serious header. YAY!

Though, I have to admit. The Radioactive Potatoes coming down from the mothership, look more like the mothership shitting them out. Just a random thought.

I havent slept yet, so I cannot say if the Tellytubbies will pay me a visit or not.

Cheers for today!