Of Death and Extra Credit

The following piece was supposed to be an extra credit assignment. Sadly the teacher left without notice. So, just like the teacher’s name vanished from the roster, so did all forms of seriousness and sanity from this essay.

DEATH

“The author of this supposed essay has an appointment with me. The essay will have to wait. For Eternity” –Grim Reaper

Death is a force necessary for balance. Imagine if no one ever died, the entire world would be over-run by people to the point where anyone born tomorrow would be living above the ozone layer (assuming that the world has saturated to the point where newer generations thrive on a layer of older generations. . . kind of like an onion.)

Whenever there is a sudden increase in population somewhere in the world, a disaster wipes out a colony somewhere else. This just shows that the world obeys the laws of physics (albeit lazily) in every form.

I find Death to be fascinating. If you were to read up on Death, you’d see that almost every culture has some perception of Death. Some believe that Death means the end to everything, while others believe that actions done now will decide how your next (material or spiritual) life will be. There are people who believe that Death is the answer to everything (at times I am one of them) while others wonder how it will feel like. When you’re depressed, occasionally Death drops by and asks whether you’d join it for some tea and crumpets . . this would explain why depressed people eat alot – as long as they aren’t hungry they won’t be seduced by Death’s offer. Also, this is why skinny depressed people commit suicide more often than fat depressed people – I however am on the fence waiting to tip over to either side)

Fascinating isn’t it? The average person . . no people . . no, in fact, humanity ha spent so much time on wondering what Death is like. Not the person obviously. There are literally thousands of versions of Death. A robed skeleton, a ghostly apparition of your loved ones, a spiky orange haired gruff youth with a huge sword, a effeminate man with hair-clips, a creepy creature who loves apples, even Rick Astley.

Imagine, you’re lying on your Death bed and everyone’s around you crying and sobbing. Suddenly there is a chill in the air and everyone falls silent. Then a figure wearing a hooded robe glides towards you. You’re freaked out. Your great grandson bursts into tears. You feel a sudden rush of adrenaline and get out of the bed and tell everyone that you’re feeling better. You tell the robed figure that he need not come any closer. The robed figure stops. In one swift motion from under the robe Rick Astley pops out and says “We’re no strangers to love / You know the rules and so do I …

So as I was saying, people wonder what death is like. Isn’t it the same as when your watch breaks or the bulb fuses or the tape in your VCR gets mangled by evil spirits working for the DVD industry. I don’t spend time wondering whether my watch was in pain during the last few seconds (literally) of its life. I don’t wonder if there’s a Casio Heaven, or a Phillips Hell, or even a Panasonic Purgatory.

Similarly I don’t feel much when a person dies. I’ve lost relatives, friends, and loved ones. But other than being sad for a few days, the only impact on my life is that I’ll miss talking to them. That’s it.

So ladies and gents. I submitted that, got an A+ grade. And two smiley faces.