Of A Holy Union Filled With Evil

I am not a Weddings person. I don't like dressing up and sitting at a table like a moron. I don't like the idiot kids who run around like it's their playground. Not to mention, most of the weddings I attend I don't have anyone to talk to.

I mean, it would make my life easier if I found someone or even the kid of someone my parents knew. Sadly, since I don't know anyone and it really isn't appropriate to go up to the stereotypical young crowd table (I also call it the lafunga table for obvious reasons) and demand that they keep me entertained so I don't die of boredom.

Hence, I'm stuck texting people, or making random observations.

So, the wedding I went to last night was at the Pearl Continental. Not that it made any difference.

The people who chose the music were complete morons. They thought classical renditions of today's Indian pop-songs would be a good idea. They played the likes of "Marjani" and "Dhoom" on a tabla with a sitar backup. And their play list was abysmally short. They kept repeating the songs over and over again. Finally someone from the family told them to STFU.

Dad prides himself on being punctual when it isn't required. So naturally since the family said that the groom and his monkey parade will be at 11:00 sharp, we were sitting in the huge hall all by ourselves (and two other families - one being the bride's) at 10:30.

Anyways. The one thing that made me realise the wedding's in Karachi irrespective of whether you're in a tent or 5-star hotel, was when I saw one of the waiters lighting candles and placing them on each table. There was even a centerpiece to hold the candle which i didn't notice earlier as it was obscured by flowers. And after it was done, to emphasise that the candles were there in case of power failure, he dimmed the lights to non-existence, if only for a few minutes.

As always with the weddings I have begun to attend recently, this one was filled with some young Americanised Desis. All thoughts of making them my source of entertainment went out of the window as soon as the group opened their mouths. Their voices were really really shrill filled with likes and totallys. Wah bhai, Alternate-Reality Grammarians.

From a 5-star hotel you expect decent service. Yet our refreshment beverages that they served were a joke. I'm pretty sure the recipe for the said orange or lemon flavored drink would be as follows

• One glass water
• One super cheap Orange or Lemon flavored sweet
  
• Stir until dissolved

We were also joined by one of dad's friends. He looked dead tired. Enough about him, his kid was another drama all together. The kid was the world's biggest sissy. He complained of being dizzy from the lift ride. Hey, he just came up one floor in a slow-ass lift and he's dizzy? To prove his point, he fell to the ground and started rolling. (We being concerned family friends asked his dad if there was some medical problem with the kid. There was none....) Awesome.

If I wasn't threatened into going, I'd be happily sleeping. That or watching Clannad.