Of Freedom

Exams are finally over!

My room during exam season is like an ever growing sea of paper, which causes my mum a huge heartburn (She's one of those cleanliness loving people)

So, as soon as exam season is over, threats are issued about the door being taken off and Mum going Hannelore Ellicott-Chatham on me.

(Click picture for comic)

Yeah, so two and a half days of intensive back breaking sweaty labor followed by hauling 15 giant trash bags filled with junk I'm finally free. Not to mention my room looks surprisingly minimalistic.

Next on my to-do list, fixing my sleep schedule.

Hopefully I'll start regularly posting again. I gottay new camera! I'm super excited and taking random pictures. I came across this blogger person who had this amazing camera and took crap pictures with it. Hope I don't turn into said blogger person.

Good Morning and I'll go catch some "Zzzzz"

I had almost forgotten! The comic is from Questionable Content and if you don't know about it, start reading. It's awesome!

Of The Way I See It: Cellular Network Providers

So, at the moment, we have 5 ultra competitive networks in Pakistan, namely:
Jazz, Telenor, Zong, Warid, U-Fone.

And here's what I gather from their advertising campaigns.
(Once again, this is my view on it... like it? "yay" for you; don't like it, scroll down; still don't like it, click the reddish orange button on the top right of your screen)

Jazz: They're the all-rounders, all thanks to their vast coverage. you can stand, wearing a suit and a pagri(turban), on Mount Bleeding Everest (assuming it's within our borders) and you'd be able to call your begum (or shohrr) and ask what's for dinner. And thus if the food's not to your liking, you can proceed to hunt down a yeti and cook it (Quick Tip: turn your phone on silent, because when you do receive that maila londa call asking for Shumaila or get that annoying forward, the beeping will trigger an avalanche)

Warid: They are international, they have people dressed to impress, and that's about it... I rarely get to see an advert of theirs, though. Maybe if I do end up watching one I'd update this post.

Telenor: Their mission was to give the young, hippy, trendy, people of Pakistan the lowest call rates (taxes not included) They must have spent a fortune on their effects laden adverts. Then it was to impress people by having pretty boy Ali Zafar mimic high wire stunts from a bunch of old Chinese movies. So, you go:

• "O.M.G! Ali Zafar is flying thanks to Telenor! Lets Buy!"
• "O.M.G! Ali Zafar uses that package, I should really buy that!"
• "O.M.G! Ali Zafar is so popular amongst the ladies, guess it's all about your Mobile Connection after all. I'm SO Buying It!!
  

And similar declarative statements. However, that's no longer the case. Now, they focus on connectivity more than anything. Whether you are the old uncle who lives in the middle of nowhere and you want to talk to your city dwelling son who never calls you. Or updating your Facebook status while you're out camping or hiking. (Be sure to try the tasty Yeti Roast that Jazz User cooked if you're on Mt. Everest)

Zong: They aim to be the cellular service that is your Mohaley-ka-Bhekari's best friend. They quote prices from other networks and offer cheaper rates (Kinda like your typical desi housewife arguing with the local vegetable wala) So, if you're harassed by loans, credit cards, and what not.. Get Zong. It's so cheap that your Mohaley-ka-Bhekari, after he's given his day's earnings to his ustaad, can afford to prank call random numbers and Frandship laddiss.

U-Fone: These people know how to get their consumer base. They will make you laugh so much, that when you finally go to buy your SIM, you'd double over laughing at the very sight of their logo. Faisal Qureshi and the team make magic happen. I wonder what would happen if Shark/The Real News made a U-Fone CM.

(For the record, I use Telenor and U-Fone. Warid has awesome International Rates! I had Jazz, but it's covered in rust so yeah...)

Of a Cure For Cancer

"Arashi! Arashi! For Dream!"
(I finally watched the video)

Of ...

I can't think of anything to write. My head's been feeling really light since 5:40 PM today. Dunno why that's so. I'll go lie down.

Of The Ultimate In Lollywood Blockbusters

Cover your eyes, if you can't handle the truth.

Of The Barbaric Angle.

No Conans were hurt in the making of these movies


This is How Cat Fights should go!

AND


And Family Disputes should be resolved using Axes! (You can even blind your opponent, and chances are, people observing you might mistake it for "Dandia Practice!")
Also, is it just me, or does the woman look like a retarded version of Pocahontas

Of A Cooler Dracula.

This shall, but most likely not, scare you.

Longer Version which makes more sense: Here

Of: "Catwoman, Catwoman, Stops Rapists like a Fat Woman Can"

Educate yourselves. This is Lollywood at its finest.

Of an Earthly Time

EARTH HOUR??

Are you fucking kidding? Why should we turn off our light. Fuck you media, and a hearty Fuck You to every single prissy Karachi-ite who actually took part in this event.

Reading all these Earth Hour Experience posts really boils my blood.

At first we thought of really turning off ALL of the appliances as well including our laptops. It made me think twice when I found out we only had 2 small candles in the house. We have been living in Davao for almost a year now and had only experienced blackout once; and so I never really thought of writing down candles as part of my grocery list. Note to self : Buy candles..lots of them!

Are you kidding me woman? You have only two candles? We live on candles and petrol.

And on their website was this:

Earth Hour Pakistan

Pakistan’s cities will be a focus this year for Earth Hour, as it continues to spread its positive message about the importance of energy saving.

Thousands of people around Pakistan, will be coming together in support of this global warming awareness initiative.

In 2009, millions of people from all walks of life will join together for Earth Hour and show the world that it’s possible to take action on global warming.

Come on Pakistan, join us for Earth Hour 2009, turn off your lights at 8.30pm Saturday 28 March and sign-up here at earthhour.org.

The last line irks me the most. Stupid whoever-you-are try, living in Pakistan for a week. We can fill your bloody worldly quota in 6 months.

See, KESC is two steps ahead of you. They celebrate Earth Hour every day ranging from 5 times to 12 times a day. As retaliation, we burn fossil fuels and release partially-burnt Hyrdo-Carbons into the atmosphere. So, you Earth Hour Folk. If you really do care about the environment, how about giving us (Pakistan) a dozen Nuclear Power Plants. See, if we have power, we won't consume so much petrol trying to run our huge ass generators.

So, think about it before you do something stupid like this again.

Of Tall Tales Told by a Teacher.

One of the teachers at school called in on yesterday and told the office that she won't be coming in as her husband was involved in a very bad car accident on the highway. One of her colleagues filled in the blanks. Husband dear was coming from Hyderabad along with a friend at around 4 A.M. Somewhere near Karachi, the car got slammed by a truck. The friend died on the spot, the husband went into severe shock with some broken bones or something.

So, naturally when mum told me about this I knew I might just have to do some more charity work. >.<

Coincidentally, that night, mum felt she should call up her colleague and give her best regards. However, colleague's cell was switched off. So, she called up the woman's best saheli (who for the record doesn't work for our school anymore. She got into some high-fi school teaching older kids)

Lo behold! Best Saheli was utterly confused about the husband predicament. Turns out, she was sitting right with them in a hut at Manora. They had just come back from a day of crabbing and boating.

The nerve of some people! They have no moral decency. You killed your husband's friend, and sent your husband halfway to meet him, just so you could go to Manora?

Today, when people confronted her, she fed them another bullshit story: "He came out of shock so I took him along with my friends to Manora to recuperate." Right, and Madam Pomfrey came and gave your husband healing potions to mend his bones right?

Sheesh. Stupid Woman.