Of the Sequel to being Complete

Yesterday, I was suddenly overcome with a bout of exhaustion, and during said bout, had the following convo with a friend of mine.

Shahrukh: Huza!!
Me: Hey! I'm tired! :(
Shahrukh: Why so tired?
Me: I dunno.. My bones are screaming
Shahrukh: What did you do all day?
Me: Nothing :/
Shahrukh: Then why the fuck are you tired?
Me: Must be one of those age related things. As you grow older your stamina decreases ... something like that.
Shahrukh: Oh yes. You've reached the age when you turn into a complete dumbass and claim it's manhood
Me: Dudee! You do realise that some people have already reached that age... or were they dumbasses to begin with?

Well... most of the people reading this, know of said dumbasses.

As for the obvious spoof in the last post, well.. that's what happens when I come across ungrateful lil' peons who whine about everything.

As for why exactly I'm tired? We didn't get no winter break this time around. Just the two days off for christmas. Bah! Humbug!

Till Later.

With more stuff. Or even a spoof!

Of Being Complete

And Today's the day, that with my facial hair, I step into "Manhood"

w00t!

Actually, this post was to be dated for somewhere in august... but oh well.

Of the Forthcoming Apocalypse

Tyre, Lebanon - This picture was taken moments before the Giant Potato Monster (GPM) successfully devoured the owner of the farm where it grew up. Just look how happy the farmer is during his final moments. :)

The potato originally weighed 24.9 pounds. (It passed over a weighing scale)

Now, it weighs 210 pounds. (We added the weight of the farmer to GPM's)

The Lebanese Police have advised all citizens to be wary of a giant rolling tuber.

A Spokesperson from McDonalds said: "While it is a sad thing for the people of Lebanon, we are hoping that we can catch the (GPM) after it has consumed a few dozen people, thereby growing in size. We shall then, aim to make the world's longest French Fries."

This Thing:
Don't say I didn't warn you....

Of ... Errrm?

So my last post was kinda idiotic at best. See, this is what happens when you try to force out creativity. Pfft.

Although... My last post did attract the attention of one person, who sent me the following video to go along with my post. Enjoy.

Of Bhurka-Posh Women and The Consequences Attached.

Some time back I read an article in a newspaper that the Taliban have taken over some mountains in the northern regions. Mountains? What are they planning? Using Warlockian Majiks to bring the mountains to life and use them as tools for their impending take over?

Since the Taliban pose a moderate threat to our way of life, and they are trying to take over our country one mountain at a time, I thought that it's a good time to type out a post which was swimming in my head for quite some time. To make it more interesting, I assume the role of a wannabe-Taliban.

_______________________________________________________

My dear Muslim brothers (Rest of you, piss off)! The idea of beauty isn't just limited to naked faces. Naked faces are haram and should be washed in acid to teach these fahashi and bey-ghairat women a lesson.

The dogs of the west have the idea of a woman's eyes being the most attractive feature she possesses. Who do you think even gave them that idea. We did!

Think about it!

Our women wear bhurkas with only their eyes visible. Naturally the only way of judging a woman's beauty is from her eyes. I've lost many friends to those heavily kajal-laden eyes.

Ah yes, the bhurka or the "Eye-Isolation-Headgear", which puts maximum emphasis on the eyes. We should be thankful to this invention. Supposing you are the ugliest woman there is. But you have really pretty eyes. The bhurka is just the thing for you.

It will hide:
- the acne scarred face
- the gigantic mole on your nose
- the crooked teeth
- your all but invisible "moustache"
- your shiny blonde "beard"

and make the guy fall for you!!!

I went to some gathering with my waledain-e-mohtarram. There, during lunch, these three bhurka-clad females entered the room simultaneously. I mean full bhurka, with gloves and everything. Naturally the only part visible were their eyes. They looked like clones

Something like this:
However! The hostess knew who was who, with uncanny precision.

- Bhurka Clad Woman #1: The Hostess's second cousin
- Bhurka Clad Woman #2: The Hostess's daughter's friend's mother
- Bhurka Clad Woman #3: The Hostess's colleague from work.

Though Movies are Haram, let alone western movies, even the Arnie Clones has dots in their eyelids to differentiate between the clones in "The 6th Day". What is this world coming to?

By the way. Arnold Bhai is our hero. Him and Rambo Sahab

_______________________________________________________

Oh and don't take this the wrong way. it's just an exagerated point-of-view of something pretty normal. True the country is pretty fucked up. But I believe that worrying won't solve much. Trust me, I'm just as sick and tired of this nonsense as you people. :(

Of Something You Didn't Expect

So, I guess you all agree that the pirate jokes were enough torture for an entire two weeks. Yes, 14 days, everyday at midnight you'd get to read another Pirate Joke.

Rejoice, there are no more Pirate Jokes.

Happy Birthday Zahra!

Since I don't know your mailing address, I couldn't send you a proper gift. So, I made my readers suffer for two whole weeks just to give you your gift. :)

See, a while back I had the idea of a themed present. Actually I had this idea ever since I got sick and you took the time to send me all those hilarious fever related messages. (At this point, if anyone has any misconceptions as to Zahra's identity, they should be cleared, no?)

Hope you enjoyed going through these jokes as much as I had fun making them and driving people insane - so much so that people started begging me to stop, heck, I even had the following conversation with Aisha today

Me: Ooooo! So are your bangles on the bangle rack all colourful and pretty?
Aisha: Yep! They Arrrrrr...... *gasps*
Me: *snicker*
Aisha: Ayeee Hate You!!! You've filled my mind with useless garbage
(Totally true incident. :D)

Then again, I've already told you about this present a few days ago, so I can end this post with another Pirate Joke.

Q. What did Pirate Zahra say when she read these Jokes?

A. "Arrrrrey Wah!"

Once again, I hope you liked them.

Zabarrrrdast!

Of The Third Riddle Courtesy of Shani

What do people generally think about such Pirate Jokes?

They Arrrr Annoying

Of Another Riddle Courtesy of Shani

What did the Pirate say when he read these jokes?

You Arrrr A Bitch

Of A Riddle Courtesy of Shani

What do you expect a Lahori Pirate to drink?

ARRRR. C. Cola

Of A Vengeful Riddle

What is a Pirate's philosophy for revenge?

An Aye for an Aye