Of The Independence Day

Let me start off by telling anyone who is hoping for a review of the awesome Will Smith movie: “Here there be no aliens”

Today marks the 64th year of independence for Pakistan. 64 years of freedom. And every year, the same scenario takes place.

Right off the bat, at midnight, everyone in Karachi goes bat-shit insane! We have fireworks, drunken teenagers screaming and speeding down dark and deserted roads, gun-toting maniacs emptying their munitions into the air (which later falls back down with the gentle pitter-patter of pointy, hailstones – and we don’t have hailstones in Karachi)

At Sehri, I turned on the telly to hopefully catch a good movie. All I saw was religious banter, and the occasional patriotic song. One song in particular caught my attention. Or rather, one verse of that song.

“Chaand Meri Zameen, Phool Mera Watan”

Literally it means “Moon, my Land. Flower my Country”

Then I slept.

A recurring nightmare later, I woke up, and the logic was never clearer.

Due to some trans-dimensional rift in the fabric of our universe, we poor Pakistanis are not on Earth.

We are in fact on the moon. See, here’s where the song’s verse’s first half actually makes sense.

1. The Moon, has no water. Neither do we.
2. The Moon, has no electricity. Neither do we.
3. The Moon, has no gas. Neither do we.

We are definitely on the moon.

So we really can’t blame KESC, WAPDA, SUI or ZARDARI for any of our problems. It’s all about location, location, location.

We do however have one thing to be proud of.

Exactly….

Of Being Older Than Ever Before.

So, on Thursday I turned 23. Yippee.

Usually I am not one to celebrate said day since it tends to suck. But as luck would have it, one promise and events in the year gone by have made me realize that I was being stupid.

Made a promise to a friend who, if keeps up her antics won’t be in my circle for very long.

And as for the events, I live in Karachi. So I know how scary it is. Almost all the buses I usually travel in, I’ve seen two versions of. The okay and the extra toasty version. Nearly been run over more times than I can count, and generally evaded death like a good Pakistani should.

All this evasion of death has made me realize that I should celebrate having successfully completed a year in our awesome country.

Now, the day. Thursday was okay. I was expecting promise friend to call at midnight because that’s been our thing for the longest while. Guy from university calls instead. A few random wishes. Still no promise friend call. or text. or IM. or Facebook. or Google+ or any sort of wish. This pisses me off.

As for the presents. I didn’t get anything except an ear shattering argument, my university friends milking out all my dough, and meeting Shani. I did get a cake in the mail from a friend I haven’t talked to in the longest while. Which is funny really. Best Friend totally ignores the day, random person I haven’t spoken to in 3 years sends me a cake.

Oh well. Lets see if I can stay alive till 24. 

Of The Most Idiotic Rule Thus-far

With 90% of the male population being smokers, do you really think the tree is big enough?

Of My Greatest Flaw - Sort Of.

I hold a grudge. I honestly am not a very forgiving person.

That said I won't be able to forgive you if you don't give me a reason to.

Because I know of this flaw of mine if you truly mean anything to me, I'll keep giving you chances. But the longer you piss me off the harder it gets.

So if you've done something horrible and I ask you to do something for me, however simple. Please do not take it lightly. I'd rather have you in my life than hate you for the rest of it.

Technically this post is just for one person, who doesn't even visit this blog. So for all intents and purposes, this is a pointless post.

The rest of you, my faceless readers, don't have the presence necessary that this post apply to you.

Also. Today is a day of silence. In honor of a friend who is no longer with us.

Of My Friends

Sound off if any of you ever lost a friend.

Even after losing so many of them, most of whom I was exceptionally close to, it still hurts.

I don't mind it when distance ends up being the factor. Or when life gets too hectic that we are no longer there for each other like we used to be. I admit it that it hurts like hell, but that's life.

However, I don't like it when we fall apart due to some stupid reason. Forgive and forget? I really hope that is possible even now. You guys, the people I call my friends, aren't just that. You are more.

You are like my family.

You are my family.

Whether you are assholes, or gluttons, or stuck up, or even retarded. I am proud to know each and every one of you. I love you all with all my heart. The reason for my being is because of you.

Being alone scares me. Losing one of you is like having a part of me amputated. And I'll do everything I can, no matter how disgraceful it may be, to keep us together for as long as time allows us. So fuck pride. I have no use for pride if I am all alone at the end.

I want us to grow old together, to be the uncle to your bratty kids, to tell people stories of how much fun we used to have.

I can be unbearable at times, but that should be no reason for us to fall apart.

I love you all.

Of Chichora Self-Portraits

Never give your cellphone to your friends to goof off with. It's a good thing that all my private stuff is well hidden and password locked.

Still that won't stop these people from taking sleazy self-portraits all in the name of checking out the cell's "camera result"

Excuses. Excuses.

This post does not deserve a title. I just had the worst weekend possible. You know the whole soul crushing bonanzas.

I was looking forward to something fun to watch. Everything I watch/read regularly is on break. WTF.

Uni starts next week, something I really am not looking forward to.

Now how the hell would anyone want to write in such conditions.

Random String of Numbers: 49 32 77 69 6C 6C 32 61 6C 77 61 79 73 32 6C 6F 76 65 32 79 6F 75 2C 48 69 6D 65 2E

Old Spice!

Of 27.28.4

You know how some people get their brilliant ideas while in the loo? I get mine when I talk to you. I even came up with this analogy while we were talking last night.

Of Things You Don’t Want To See

While Handling Acid with your Bare Hands

Where the heck did the white power come from.

Of 27.28.3

Name this object correctly in Urdu and English and never again will i flaunt my linguistic superiority in front of you

(i.e. I won’t make fun of you when you say something really stupid)

(Hint: Look Carefully)