Of Butt-Head Advertising

Really now. There are people who like to maintain their blogs as personal pages. They would rather not have it advertised all over the world.

If you stumbles across their blog well and good. If you leave a comment even better. But no one asked you to advertise it! No one asked you to print fliers and distribute it to the entire world and have useless people empathizing with you, you idiot!

Sadly, there are idiots out here who put up a Blog List / Blogroll of all the blogs they "read"

The thing is, that they just want to seem like they are into blogging and reading all sorts of blogs, having a ton of "blog-buddies"

Of Annoying Things in the Middle of the Night - 1

I just added the 1 in the post header because I have this feeling that I'll be ranting about more annoyances in the near future.

So for the first thing.

Paper. I'm sure everyone who's not living in Karachi (as I don't know about other cities) won't be able to related to it, but what the hell.

See, being an Origami enthusiast, I love coloured paper. I mean, I adore it. If i go into a bookstore and see a colour I don't have or I am running out I'll buy it on the spot. Heck I even once went to Macro just to buy black paper. Black paper is so hard to find in the market, one that hasn't been painted by some idiot that whenever you handle it your hands end up all black and sooty. Not to mention the look on the vendors faces when you ask them for black paper. Most of the time its a "Why would you need BLACK paper?" And these hypocrites are okay with keeping gray paper and ultra dark blue paper. Fine, technically speaking, you cannot print anything on black paper, and apart from gold silver and glitter, nothing is visible on it. But still, I am telling you, we need decent black paper (and don't give me the look that says I'm frigging insane... try finding the appeal in an orange raven or a purple black-widow spider... yeah! I need black for some stuff)

And, I am guessing the paper industry is totally biased towards white paper. The other colours suffer. Either they are coloured by an idiot using crayons, or they are cut into misshapen A4 rectangles with one or more sides slanting, or when I'm lucky, BOTH!

I mean, Retarded much? I had to invest in a giant and equally fragile setsquare just to trim the edges right.

WHAT IS WITH THE COLOUR BIASNESS OF THE PAPER INDUSTRY??

I mean, go pick up a packet of white A4 and you'll have all these words thrown at you like: "precision cut", "enhanced thickness", "improved smoothness" etc. Whereas a total dumbass is in charge of colour paper.

Here's how I imagine coloured paper is made: a bunch of kids are locked in a room with paint and crayons. These kids have been specially scouted from schools all over the nation. These are the kids who use ONE COLOUR to fill in a colouring page, or colour the car, dad, sun and tree all purple. Then once they've finished slathering the paint or crayon on the paper, they put it on a conveyor belt, which goes through a hole in the wall. On the other side is a redneck equivalent sitting in a room with the conveyor belt passing in front of him and he's got this butcher's knife and he's been instructed to swing the knife down when the light in front of him blinks. Now we all know that a normal person's reaction time is not perfect. So naturally the knife wouldn't always land straight or on time for that matter. Hence, we have crooked paper. There, that's how paper's made.

Anyways I had to make this flowers set piece for a friend and it took me 15 minutes (and three pages) just forming a perfect square. I'll put up the picture soon (once I finish making it)

Oh and if you've been following this blog, I lost my cutting mat. *cries*

Of Over Protective Parents and Their Hydrophobic Kids

Ladies and Gents. The Suzuki Cultus you see is a very special one.

Everyday, without fail, they are going to be in the parking lot well before the teachers come and will stay till 8 (that is when the gates close and school starts)

Both parents with their two children come. The dad waits outside in the car, while the mum goes to drop her kids inside. One's in O-Levels and the other one, I had the supposed privilege to teach.

What loving parents no? Yep. That, and the fact that the younger kid has serious issues with water. He stinks like anything! Ewww.

And That's all I had to say in this post. Cheers.

Of Freedom

Exams are finally over!

My room during exam season is like an ever growing sea of paper, which causes my mum a huge heartburn (She's one of those cleanliness loving people)

So, as soon as exam season is over, threats are issued about the door being taken off and Mum going Hannelore Ellicott-Chatham on me.

(Click picture for comic)

Yeah, so two and a half days of intensive back breaking sweaty labor followed by hauling 15 giant trash bags filled with junk I'm finally free. Not to mention my room looks surprisingly minimalistic.

Next on my to-do list, fixing my sleep schedule.

Hopefully I'll start regularly posting again. I gottay new camera! I'm super excited and taking random pictures. I came across this blogger person who had this amazing camera and took crap pictures with it. Hope I don't turn into said blogger person.

Good Morning and I'll go catch some "Zzzzz"

I had almost forgotten! The comic is from Questionable Content and if you don't know about it, start reading. It's awesome!

Of The Way I See It: Cellular Network Providers

So, at the moment, we have 5 ultra competitive networks in Pakistan, namely:
Jazz, Telenor, Zong, Warid, U-Fone.

And here's what I gather from their advertising campaigns.
(Once again, this is my view on it... like it? "yay" for you; don't like it, scroll down; still don't like it, click the reddish orange button on the top right of your screen)

Jazz: They're the all-rounders, all thanks to their vast coverage. you can stand, wearing a suit and a pagri(turban), on Mount Bleeding Everest (assuming it's within our borders) and you'd be able to call your begum (or shohrr) and ask what's for dinner. And thus if the food's not to your liking, you can proceed to hunt down a yeti and cook it (Quick Tip: turn your phone on silent, because when you do receive that maila londa call asking for Shumaila or get that annoying forward, the beeping will trigger an avalanche)

Warid: They are international, they have people dressed to impress, and that's about it... I rarely get to see an advert of theirs, though. Maybe if I do end up watching one I'd update this post.

Telenor: Their mission was to give the young, hippy, trendy, people of Pakistan the lowest call rates (taxes not included) They must have spent a fortune on their effects laden adverts. Then it was to impress people by having pretty boy Ali Zafar mimic high wire stunts from a bunch of old Chinese movies. So, you go:

• "O.M.G! Ali Zafar is flying thanks to Telenor! Lets Buy!"
• "O.M.G! Ali Zafar uses that package, I should really buy that!"
• "O.M.G! Ali Zafar is so popular amongst the ladies, guess it's all about your Mobile Connection after all. I'm SO Buying It!!
  

And similar declarative statements. However, that's no longer the case. Now, they focus on connectivity more than anything. Whether you are the old uncle who lives in the middle of nowhere and you want to talk to your city dwelling son who never calls you. Or updating your Facebook status while you're out camping or hiking. (Be sure to try the tasty Yeti Roast that Jazz User cooked if you're on Mt. Everest)

Zong: They aim to be the cellular service that is your Mohaley-ka-Bhekari's best friend. They quote prices from other networks and offer cheaper rates (Kinda like your typical desi housewife arguing with the local vegetable wala) So, if you're harassed by loans, credit cards, and what not.. Get Zong. It's so cheap that your Mohaley-ka-Bhekari, after he's given his day's earnings to his ustaad, can afford to prank call random numbers and Frandship laddiss.

U-Fone: These people know how to get their consumer base. They will make you laugh so much, that when you finally go to buy your SIM, you'd double over laughing at the very sight of their logo. Faisal Qureshi and the team make magic happen. I wonder what would happen if Shark/The Real News made a U-Fone CM.

(For the record, I use Telenor and U-Fone. Warid has awesome International Rates! I had Jazz, but it's covered in rust so yeah...)

Of a Cure For Cancer

"Arashi! Arashi! For Dream!"
(I finally watched the video)

Of ...

I can't think of anything to write. My head's been feeling really light since 5:40 PM today. Dunno why that's so. I'll go lie down.

Of The Ultimate In Lollywood Blockbusters

Cover your eyes, if you can't handle the truth.

Of The Barbaric Angle.

No Conans were hurt in the making of these movies


This is How Cat Fights should go!

AND


And Family Disputes should be resolved using Axes! (You can even blind your opponent, and chances are, people observing you might mistake it for "Dandia Practice!")
Also, is it just me, or does the woman look like a retarded version of Pocahontas

Of A Cooler Dracula.

This shall, but most likely not, scare you.

Longer Version which makes more sense: Here