Of the Binary Family

I just came back from a wedding. I also happen to have a Digital Logic paper tomorrow.

First, lets talk a bit about Digital Logic (God knows I can use the revision)

Digital Logic is basically making finite decisions in the form of a 1 or a 0. Using multiplication, addition, comparison, and inversion you take one or more inputs and spit out an output.

But that’s not important right now.

Weddings are a great place to find out the weirdness of the bride/grooms family. In this case, the wedding was a family one. (Not my cousin’s that’s still a week away) You find out all sorts of stuff. Like who hates who, what a certain person is called behind his/her back. etc.

Anyone one of you who have old relatives will be aware of the obsession people had with nicknames.

• You’ll have an 60-year-old vast entity of an uncle who every one calls “Munnu”
• A grandma-ish person who stares at the face of death every day called “Pinky”
• A thin-as-a-rail uncle who everyone calls “goolu-mian”

You get the point? Now at this wedding I met the kids of a certain uncle of mine called “No-no”.

Now, me, I’m desperate to score an A in Digital Logic no matter what. So, I’ve been studying the subject like crazy. And as soon as I heard “no-no” my brain went into overdrive. I grabbed the nearest person (of my age group) I could find and after explaining the concept of digital logic to him pitched my theory of what No No’s family tree would be like.

Since he’s “No-No” and not “No-No-No” that means he as 3 siblings. 2^2 = 4  vs  2^3 = 8

His brothers and sisters would be named; Yes-No, No-Yes and Yes-Yes, . He’s the eldest of the siblings. Not to mention they should be thankful that they are only 4 siblings and not 8, because if they were 8 siblings these would be some of the conversations their family might end up facing.

Mommy (introducing her kids to some relative) : … and this is  Yes-No-No, he’s in class 6. Finally this is Yes-No-Yes, she just started kindergarten.

Stranger:  Wait, who was Yes-Yes-No?

Mommy (patting husband’s arm) Yes-Yes-No’s not here yet. Maybe next year.

~~!~~

Daddy: NO-NO-YES!! Bring back my slippers! How many times I’ve got to tell you not to tame my slippers.

No-No-Yes: Abbu! No-Yes-Yes took them! You always blame me!

~~!~~

Teacher (accepting project proposals): Yes…No…No…

Yes-No-No: Yes Miss, you called me?

Teacher: No! I wasn’t. …Yes…No…Yes

Yes-No-Yes: Yes Miss?

(both are twins)

~~!~~

So that’s how I see my family. Thankfully the guy I had grabbed just stared at me and then smiled politely. There could be worse things he could be named No-No-No-Yes, with an entire cricket team backing him up to beat the hell out of me. I doubt he would then let me explain the concept of Hexadecimal to him.

Conspiracies Galore.

Yesterday’s Air Blue Crash is a tragedy. Lets move on now. No? Why?

This is where our media fails to be a valuable source of information. 152 people died in a plane crash. So now every news channel is going to milk it for all it’s worth. Geo is going to air a clip of an animated plane slamming into a mountain with a fountain of blood instead of explosion and the text “Air Blue: BOOM” slowly appears as the cartoony blood drips away. Samaa TV is going to steal the same clip, blur out Geo TV’s logo and show it, on loop.

The poor old retired PIA pilot is being blamed for the crash. The black box is missing. And everything is being done to make it sound juicy.

So let me get this straight. If I want my death to be broadcasted on national television for three days non-stop (with those cool Geo animations) I have to cough up 12k, and die in a spectacular explosion in some remote area of the country. No popularity for me if I turn out to be a victim of a suicide bombing or a massive car crash or even a railroad accident.

So, while watching the news for the umpteenth time, mum uttered something so mind blowing that I just had to blog about it.

She said: “This is all a conspiracy. The Americans are behind it. Guess why?”

* Blank Look *

Mum: “The Wright Brothers were American right? Had they not discovered aerodynamics, this plane crash would have never happened.

Makes you think doesn't it? It just proves everything right. World Trade Center, and now this.

American Conspiracies.

Of Ohhh CRAP!

Today, Mum kinda put two and two together.

Now she knows about my ex. *sigh* Dear old Ex.

Waiting for Mum to explode. Or something. She is definitely going to explode.