Of Being Surrounded By Impossible Things

This world runs on fixed patterns. You might call it physics or the will of God.

Imagine waking up looking down at your bed. Yeah, you’re on your roof, looking at the world upside down. That’s probably going to freak you out right?

In my experience, electronics end up defying the laws of physics more often that people would like.

For someone as obsessive about his gadgets as I am, this gets a bit harrowing after a while.

In layman terms, a bottle of water cannot contain more than it’s designed capacity. No matter how hard you try you cannot fill a one litre bottle with two litres. At least not in anyway where the water would be useable.

My laptop’s battery broke the laws of physics governing capacity. Observe.

For the layman, the battery should have 5200 units of energy, which would last you 2 hours with normal usage. For some reason, it ended up having 60K more than it should. And going by the new capacity it’s supposed to last for nearly an entire day. It lasts for 15 minutes total.

Well, technically, I am to blame for that. A while back it died. No charge whatsoever. So I did what any self-respecting tech head would do. I mucked around until I could get it to work. Mucking around also involved stabbing it’s contacts with a knife at one point.

Today, my phone’s memory card was giving me problems. So, took it out, plugged it into a reader and checked the specs. I don’t even know how to explain what I saw. So I took a screenshot (and decided to do a blog post about it.)

Yeah. The entire card is a 4GB one. However, just the pictures tat 74 freaking gigs.

This laptop should never have worked. Yet it stayed with me, tolerating my antics for the better part of 2 years.

You know, I think we should have a Zubaida Aapa for Gadgets. Can you imagine how simple life would be if she started giving tech help?

“Agar aap ka computer neeli screen dekha ker band ho jaye, to side ka cover utar ke ek chota panka laga dein aur phir chalaien, Neeli screen nehi aaye gi!”

“Agar aap ki kisi bhi cheez ki rechargeable battery charge na ho, to usko ek theli mein band kerke do ghanton ke leay freeze kerein. Freezer se nikalne ke baad usko room temperature pe aane dein, aur charge kerein. Aap ki battery chal parey gi!”

(I bet most of you read it in her voice didn’t you?)