Of “Bus Bhi Ker Do . . Yaaar”

Public transportation is a wonderful thing. I’ve been suffering from a writer’s block for ages. Well, more like a sprained wrist, a hormonal, prissy, temper-tantrum throwing bride-groom living in my room, and exam stress to write.

I’ve missed writing. And now that I’m finally free for the last week or so, I discover that I lost the will to write. So I opted to go for my super-duper-secret cure to end my writer’s block

Sadly, this time my cure ended up depressing me. Sure it gave me an idea for a new post (which – lets be honest – will just stay an idea, considering how lazy I am) but, I can’t write when I’m sad. So I waited for inspiration to hit. And it did. It hit me like a Bus

Yesterday, Hime was travelling from Philadelphia to Boston on a bus. She’s never travelled on a desi bus. And considering the recent deadly experiences I’ve had with the local bus system I thought why not do a serious and factual (right) comparative analysis of the American bus system and the Pakistani deathtrap bus system.

I was not paid by either a Pakistani contractor or the Megabus Corp.

The Two Contenders

Megabus

Desi Bus

Embarking / Disembarking

How Disabled People are Handled

The bus stops, the doorway drops down and wheelchair dude(tte) gets wheeled in.

Bus stops, three people get out, throw the wheelchair dude on the roof, one guy follows him and ties the chair to the roof. This is pure speculation… could be possible who knows?

Bus Fare

Exact change or a Bus Pass needed.

You can hand the conductor a thousand rupee note for a ten rupee fare, and when you’ll disembark (jump-off) five minutes later, he’ll have your change.

Bus Capacity

Bus is either at full capacity or less than full capacity.

The concept of capacity was never explained to the drivers or conductors. Also, if you zoom in you’ll see a purple man and a purple dotted route. That’s the conductor and his fare collecting route.

The Drive-By

Busses obey speed limits and are generally slow moving. We’re talking about real world here, not a movie or Crazy Taxi

The Pakistani version of the drive by consists of being splashed by water (usually from an overflowing man-hole near by) and various fluid being thrown out of the window. If a fleet of busses is about to pass you, expect to be tarred and feathered with random fluid, followed by a fine coating of betel nut, wrappers, and ash.

The Meaning of “Turbulence”

Yeah, I added some stuff. . .