Of Fair Skin

Today I saw this advert and it got me thinking, I should really watch more TV. Actually it got me thinking why Indians and Pakistanis are so obsessed over being fair. Can someone count the number of Fairness Cream adverts on air? You have Fair & Lovely, some haldi whitening cream, brido whitening cream and what not.

Sometimes it goes to the point where these adverts prey on the innocent minds of young girls. They brainwash impressionable minds into thinking that if you aren’t fair you will never get married. And as we all know, every desi girl who hasn’t been corrupted by western ideals of feminism and liberalism wants to do her matriculation and get married and start pumping out spawn (shame on the readers who got corrupted.) So you need to be white if you want to even get a tiny bit of attention from a guy. And apparently, same goes for guys now. We need to be sparkly white if we want girls falling all over us… wait… sparkly white? Edward? HELL NO!

Now, if you look to the west, you’ll see people dying to get a tan. All the westerners want a nice tan. So, if we extrapolate (Google meaning if you don’t know) the scenario, we have something like this

The Story of Two White Girls: Quest for The Tan

One upon a time, there were two girls. Lets call them Cindy and Sara. So, Cindy and Sara were two very pale white girls. So pale in fact that both used to volunteer at a nurse training institute because of their near translucent skin (which made poking needles in to veins really easy for beginners)

But all wasn’t cakes and marshmallows for them. Dashing young guys used to come to the training center and go on to become rich successful doctors. Yet, no one asked them out (and it’s not because Cindy’s a painting and Sara looks creepy)

One day, their neighborhood aunty was in search of more juicy gossip to share at her Bridge-Party (which didn’t involve being near any bridge for some strange reason) and she happened to come across Sara, who at that time was crying her eyes out.

Upon inquiry, aunty found out that Sara’s nearly 30 (doesn’t look like she’s 30 does it?) and she still hasn’t had a first date. So, aunty smiled gently and after rummaging through her gigantic purse for a good 10 minutes, she pulled out: After handing it to Sara, she started a long, rambling monologue as to how she was once too fair for American Standards and got a job as a reflector-board for modeling gigs. And then her neighborhood aunty gave her Dark and Lovely, and after a month of daily coats, her skin got the healthy chocolatey look that every white American guy longs for.

So, for a month Sara uses dark and lovely.  And voila.

The 32nd day she showed up at the Nurse Training Institute and immediately got proposals from every male nurse and doctor wanna be. The scene ends with her looking at a blank wall and saying “If it wasn’t for Dark and Lovely, I’d still be lonely and dateless. Thank you Dark and Lovely” Then an orderly tackled her and locked her in a padded room (30 years of being dateless and ignored by the opposite sex can severely unhinge you, especially in a liberal country like America)

Now, you must be wondering what happened to Cindy, well…She moved to Pakistan and a wadera was instantly smitten by her pale skin. He took her to his village where they got married and she proceeded to dilute the melanin count of his bloodline.

The End.